Friday, July 3, 2009

(Photo the property of Getty Images)

Jim Furyk is one of the best damn golfers in the world and one of the absolutely worst dressed. Jimmy is kind of an odd-looking guy, but he doesn't help himself with oft-pleated, ill-fitting trousers and shirts in heinous color combinations. I mean I love UPS brown shirts with yellow detailing as much as anyone, but...wait...hey...seriously? And the Larry David 'bowling shirts' that button down the front? Leave the b-downs to Poulter whose shirts actually fit.

(Photo the property of AP Photos)
Justin Rose is predominantly a well-dressed young lad who has graced these pages several times for his modern and trim style. But Justin broke rule #171 in the golf style handbook with this one: Do not wear vomit-colored clothing in public. I'm not sure what Adidas is calling that shirt, but I have a few suggestions that fall somewhere between kitty litter and pumpkin bisque. Mmmm...bisque. Don't do it again, J. Rose.

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Rory...oh, Rory. He tries, doesn't he? He really does. This young man clearly wants people to like him, but he just doesn't know how to go about it. One way to lose friends and alienate people is to dress like Ving Rhames. Shirts like that should be burned twice for good measure. Rory should take his Hollywood attitude to a decent stylist.

(Photo the property of AP Photos)

I did some tongue-waggin' of my own when I saw these trousers MJ wore to the US Open Challenge. He could fit Scotty, Ho' Grant and John Paxson in those badboys with him. Even Freddie is like "Damn...MJ got some big ol' pants!" He looks like a giant MC Hammer hype-man. In the last month I've also seen MJ in formal coat and tails with military-style shoulders and about 8 buttons so who knows what's coming next from the best athlete ever to dribble.

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I still laugh when I see this photo of JD at the US Open Qualifier. Bermuda shorts should have a restraining order against him! I love having John back in the spotlight - in fact I really don't have anything bad to say about this because it's just so him. Keep doin' your thing, JD...

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Briny is one of my favorite scapegoats. That hat is just pure lunacy. (Unless it's on the Shark) He often wears baseball caps and looks much better, but he's just a goofy SOB. He dresses like the head pro at "The Villages" (Florida's Friendliest Hometown!!) and that might just be an insult to the head pro at "The Villages..."

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Eric Axley is like a four car pile-up on I95. You're slightly scared, but can't look away. I'd say he should be sponsored by Skittles, but Skittles knows to show restraint. Sometimes you just can't wear your orange shirt with your orange pants...sorry pal, it doesn't leave any orange for anyone else. He and Rory should have a polyester bonfire starring...wait for it...their entire wardrobes!


TXQ said...

"He and Rory should have a polyester bonfire starring...wait for it...their entire wardrobes!"

And yet JD couldn't hit the broad side of that bonfire.

Daly no doubt thinks his checks are bouncy, but sighted folk wish they'd be canceled.

TXQ said...

Jim Furyk looks very sharp today, clothing-wise.

Apparently a word from the wiseass is sufficient. And it travels fast.

One for your plus column, KC.

Must be getting crowded in there.

Or perhaps I'm getting sarcastic over here.

Tough call.

Anonymous said...

I find it troubling that you bash Eric Axley, despite his clothes fit his build well and his use of color isn't all that different from Brian Gay who was lauded earlier in your blog. A guy who wears Sligo and SubSeventy clothing is right on par with current fashion trends as far as I'm concerned.

The Khaki Crusader said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your comment. While I have never lauded Brian Gay on the site, I have complimented the fit of Sligo in the past. If my memory is correct, I have always been less than complimentary of the colors and designs - which is what I'm riding Axely for in the post above.
In my humble opinion, he gets a bit costumey with his looks on occasion and the whole package is overpowering. Many fans of "loud and proud" clothing look for these attributes and they are most certainly entitled to their opinion.
You're right, if he's wearing current stuff he is part of the very clothing movement that this blog is focused on.
I was simply pointing out a desire for him to perhaps not get dressed in the dark. I own lime green shorts, but I wouldn't wear them with a matching shirt.